We need to leave RIGHT NOW. Skreaakk the front door opened slowly,I started to panic as a HUGE ,dark,bold figure came towards us " OH NO"said Caitlin.He was stomping like an elephant and his footsteps just got louder.
"What shall we do"
"Erm" but suddenly the footsteps stopped.
"Who are you "said the angry man,from behind the wall. I was going to tell him who I was ,but I remembered that last year my favourite ball went in his garden and he popped it with a knife. Unfortunately Caitlin told him who we were,and
he remembered me within a second. He looked at me with fury in his eyes.
To be continued....
Hello Millie, you’ve used good alliteration for the sound of the door opening. Your speech punctuation is almost correct - don’t forget to use exclamation marks and question marks inside them, as well as commas.
ReplyDeleteI like the simile that you used for the sound of the footsteps.
Miss Willing
Team 100WC
Huntingdon, England